Home School or in a Village?

Arriving back in Australia, we soon got back into our groove of home schooling. The days filled in a whirl of self employed business, education, adventures, sporting events, dancing, tennis lessons and all the personal and professional events that accompany life.

School Horses around the rotunda at Village School
Image: Village School Website

A mothers needs and wants are often faded into the background, children step up, other peoples needs step in, clinic clients fall apart and demand attention, sleep begins to become a thing of the past and try as you may to carve out "your space" it is so easy for it to slip away like a drifting boat into the night until the horizon is no longer visible and the boat is long gone.

At this point, you have the options of finding yourself, carving out your space, going with the flow or simply drowning in the never ending  business that accompanies fitting in every ones lifestyles. Some times even the best intentions are just out of your grasp, you soul search, you seek inner peace, you try to make it all fit. Yet, it is as futile as trying to catch the long gone boat, things begin to fall apart and there's no time for anything any longer. Children clutch at your clothing and beg for all manner of needs to be met and sometimes a change is necessary.

On one rather dark and gloomy day, back in 2012, this was the place I found myself in. Unable to cope with looking after everyone else any longer I sat down and began to weep. I felt like I had given my power away, I felt lost and miserable, sad for myself and a deep despair over not having it all together. The tears began to fall and as the rain fell outside my world closed in a little darker.

But like all dark clouds parting, eventually the sun must come out and I realised that the universe had not left me, I was simply unable to achieve what I needed to as I wasn't clear in what I wanted.
What was it I needed? What was it I needed to ask the universe for?
Like a light coming out from the dark, I realised I needed 2 days peace. 2 days where Emma was somewhere other than home schooling - and it wasn't just me, Gabe needed some private time with his interests with me and she needed to be in a broader circle. She needed some space to breathe too.

I sat down and asked the universe, please find a "fit" for Emma somewhere for 2 days a week, somewhere where she would be loved, valued, respected, nurtured, somewhere she could call a second home, some where she would be happy, somewhere she could grow.

I prayed and I asked for exactly what we all needed, I couldn't do any more with this. I didn't know what else to do and with the words of the serenity prayer echoing: "God, give me Grace to accept with serenity, the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other." Glancing at the clock, I decided to leave it alone for now.

Arising and settling in to emails and a cup of tea, I noticed an email that had popped in exactly one minute after the wishes I had sent out into the ethers.

It was a local school email - the Village school; it began with:
"Dear Lesley, some time ago you expressed an interest in our home school program"
OK, I'm listening...
"We would like to offer Emma a place at the village school 2 days a week if you are still interested, if so please contact us at......"

I thought about it for a second, noticed the time and pushed my mind aside, my heart stepped in and quickly typed "yes, please, when can she start?". I didn't need to ask the location, the cost, the details, I knew it would be her "fit".

She began the next week and - Oh what a fit it was, we are eternally thankful and grateful for the journey the village school took us on.

From the initial comment on their website we knew we were in synchronicity:

"There are two lasting bequests we can grant our children. One of these is roots, the other, wings."

Our beliefs were challenged in the most delightful ways, our theories of what education is, were rewritten and our personal experiences of our childhood education were cast aside as we began to learn how children unfold and develop into the most wonderful human beings with love, respect and the opportunity to really be who they are born to be without anyone's beliefs imposed upon them.

We will eternally value our "Village" experience as one of the most soul enriching, heart felt experiences of being loved we and Emma could ever hope for.
The school is filled with animals and Emma would delight in getting to school to lead the horses to a different paddock, busy herself with the chooks, ducks, eggs and love the bleating of the goat in a rather whimsical cry, that once pointed out, really did sound like he was saying his own name over and over Keeeeevvvvvinnnn, Keeeevviiiinnn!

The Village School Farm
Image: Village School Website

Early days, Emma had some "fitting in" concerns, she had some hurtful comments to speak and was making her presence rather loudly felt there.
One of the teachers carefully approached us at drop off, advising we had a little "concern" that needed addressing, they advised us what was occurring and that they (in the most loving manner) felt it needed to be dealt with.

Echos of our my school experience screamed in my head, getting chalk filled dusters thrown at my head, being screamed at and publicly humiliated in front of the entire class, marched up to the headmasters office with your arm nearly wrenched out of the socket to get the cane a few times to teach you a darn good lesson. Being whipped into conformity, so your true individuality would be stifled and you would fit in with THEIR ideals of a child. The memories in my head screamed and my heart began to race. Like a third party I heard myself mutter "what is it exactly you wish to do with her".

The teacher (a lovely large gentle man) explained how at Village school they believe children act out because they don't feel valued; therefore with our permission they felt it would be beneficial to have the children explain to Emma what they liked about her and what qualities they saw in her that they respected and felt would be a benefit to them and the school as a whole. He continued, explaining that most of the actions within the school are decided by the children, whilst the teachers role is to oversee and become advisers rather than dictators and that this was the decision a few of the older children had suggested to him to work with Emma. He shared that in order to reinforce her sense of being important, they would like to have her take on some of the responsibilities within the school to assist her in realising that every child had a part and that their absence created an important gap in the overall well-being within the school.

Wow - Ok, that works for me, lets try it.

That day I dropped off a surly child with a cutting tone and a chip on her shoulder. 7 hours later, a bright shining face raced out to greet me with a cheery hello and "I'm delighted to see you mum", she gushed how she was"sorry, but I need to stay at school a little longer. You see I am responsible for looking after Spike, the bearded dragon (lizard) and I certainly wouldn't like to be left with no water and possibly having to spend the night next to a pile of poo any more than he would and that if I wouldn't mind just giving her a few more minutes, she would go and attend to his needs and be right back in a jiffy".

On the drive home, the car was filled with "did you know this child thinks I am kind and compassionate", "did you know that child thinks I am an excellent artist" "did you know that teacher thinks I have leadership qualities".

She settled back into the car seat, grinning from ear to ear and saying "I had no idea that I had that much to offer Mum".

That night, settling down for sleep, she whispered "If all those people think I am that wonderful, I certainly cannot disappoint them, I will try harder to be a better person every day and live up to all they think I can be".
Snuggling down she whispered "I'm sorry for being nasty mum, thank you so much for everything you do for me".

It wasn't only Emma that gave thanks to a changing world that evening and an eternal gratitude for the possibilities of what life can be.

Click here for the village schools website

The Rainbow Children of Bali

The carrot has been dangled, the Green School is good to go, all plans are made, our enrollment fees are paid and here I sit idly skimming through websites. A flash on the screen tantalises me with a snip about the hippy children of Bali, known as the rainbow children.

Rainbow children, Hippy Children, well this certainly appeals, my interest definitely  piqued, I must find out more.

Scrolling through I find very little mention of this selection of children, but I am now on a mission to discover who these children are and why my attention was so drawn to them. I can't explain the feeling other than once again a definite need to find our more.

Finally I come across this article - accredited to http://www.baliadvertiser.biz/articles/greenspeak/2009/rainbow.html
Essentially it says:

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Ubud's Rainbow Children

How many foreigners have visited Ubud through the decades, fallen under its spell and settled down? How many have married and made beautiful babies beside those verdant rice terraces? Then the babies grow up, the carefree days are over and suddenly decisions have to be made about schooling. Twenty years ago the only option was Bali International School in Sanur. Today there are many other choices, but they are all a long drive south.

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The article continues on sharing about a new generation of kids in Ubud, based on their parents wanting a well-rounded, child-centred school offering a world-class education without the hefty fees. Unable to find such a school, led by the parents and their desires - they created one.

It is known as Pelangi (Rainbow) School - possibly named thus due to the rainbow T Shirts the children wore as a uniform. It ticks all the boxes of schools that would interest us, especially being a true community school.

I love that it is a mix of western and Indonesian kids are learning together in a bilingual environment. However, more than the actual information, the thing that jumped out at me as I researched more was the settled energies within the children and the happy joy in their eyes. Also fitting with our ethos was that the children had a great say in how the school operated.

In researching further I discovered that Pelangi offers a daily drop-in option for visiting children and I loved that it offered scholarship students from local families.

I immediately emailed the school - after fervently searching out their contact details (this took around 5 hours of constant internet surfing) and within a day received one of the warmest welcomes and responses back from the school, I have received. It continued saying they would be delighted to have Emma with them in 2015 and asking about her interests.

I was immediately welcomed as part of the family in such a manner that I was certainly interested enough to pursue this further.

Hmmm, Green School / Pelangi - Bali you certainly do offer some interesting dilemmas!

You're on your own lovely - but I do still love you!

A shared dream, it seems doesn't always turn out to be a shared dream!

For years we had talked about "when we move temporarily over to Bali", we had shared ideas, locations, adventures, so you may imagine THE talk; the sitting down and in slightly hushed tones the announcement of my husband: "I have been thinking about this and I realise this is important to you and therefore you really must do it, but amidst lots of soul searching I have come to the realisation that I love you, but it is not MY dream".

"Pardon me?", I wasn't quite sure that I had understood this correctly or perhaps it was just an error in my mind, that this lovely man sitting in front of me was making an incorrect statement. Surely he didn't really mean what I thought I had just heard, this was OUR dream right? We always traveled together, we always made decision together and we always shared each others dreams and ideas. Hadn't he been right there alongside me planning this adventure for years, sharing in my delight and joys?

Well not quite!

After the initial realisation sunk in that this was exactly what he was saying, came a few days of really intense and deep soul searching.

I was angry at first, thinking he had agreed to this and was now backing out, he explained that he had casually thought it was another option we were chatting about and not necessarily something that would eventuate. He said once it became real, he had thought about going along with it, but something in his heart pulled him away and after much time, he realised he would be a fish out of water, in a strange land that whilst I fitted like a glove, simply wasn't his home away from home. He shared stories with me of the times that the Balinese cheerily announced "Hello Lesley" and then "Hello Mr Lesley". He shared how my heart belonged there and it seemed even the locals knew this and whilst he loved visiting and holidaying there he would always be "Mr Lesley". As a tourist, this was great, but he felt he couldn't achieve what he needed to do at this point in his life in Bali.

What did this mean to me? What did this mean to our children? What did this mean to our family dynamics?

Initially I must admit I went rather flat and decided "OK, well I guess that dream and adventure is just not to be, I despondently gave up on my ideas and resolved to staying put in Australia and following on with his dreams, the children's dreams and the life that was shared by many to stay put.

To be fair, hubby did constantly support me and say I should do what was right for me and that he would be here to share in that and do anything he could to assist, but like a helium balloon that has long given up it's flight and lays flat in a far off field, I couldn't be enthusiastic or excited about any of the prospects. I didn't think I could do it alone, I also didn't relish the thought of not travelling to a place that just "felt right".

The days ran into weeks and the feeling of something not being right just wouldn't budge, our relationship began to deteriorate until finally I realised that I needed to uncover this more, peel off the layers and really find out where I sat with this information. I began a deep meditation and felt myself unfolding into the future. It was a far off future where dreams had been put on hold, feeling had been shunned and backs had been turned on adventures. Allowing the image to unfold around me, I allowed my guard to drop and the realisation of this new reality to unfold, I was surprisingly OK with it all, but there it was, that nagging feeling again. Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself and felt into it, what was the deepest underlying emotion that this new state of being brought up for me, what was the name I could give it?

A deep far off resonance sounded closer and closer and finally reverberated with: "What if?"

What if? I pondered, what does "what if" mean to me? It was a strange feeling, a mixture of resignation, a feeling of lack of importance, a feeling of not being true to yourself, but most importantly, it left a hole in my energies. It was as if a question had been asked that could never be answered.
A light began to glow in the distance, a realisation that I simply can't live with "What If's" if there is absolutely no reason why it should not be explored. I realised that if I chose this path, I would always wonder if I had turned my back on an opportunity that was being presented to me. I would always have to live with "What If". Could I do it?

As a home educating parent, our task is always to open doors to opportunities, to allow many pathways to open and to encourage a love for learning that hopefully turns into a life long realised. Yet here I was, an opportunity arising, a doorway wide open, a path curling into the distance and I am thinking of stepping backwards and closing the door. A voice in my head said "you know you can't live with "What If's", therefore you know it's just a matter of time before you do it anyway, so why fight it, give over, release, embrace the changes, see what happens.

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

I opened my eyes and was surprised to find the entire room was filled with brightly glowing sunshine, a rainbow had appeared over the hills and it felt like I was receiving a warm hug, I knew in that moment I had made my choice, right,wrong or otherwise, this was the path I needed to take.

I called my daughter in and shared my experience, her entire face broke out in a smile and she knowingly replied "I knew you'd figure that out eventually, I just wondered how long it would take".

That evening, a warm fire lit, some snacks on the rug, hubby and I once again revisited THE talk, this time with a different outlook, his face broke into a smile as he fondly said "I knew you'd make that choice eventually but you had me worried I would throw you off the path you need to walk". "You have to understand that I also feel this is the right choice for you and Emma, there's something there you are both guided to do, I don't know what it is yet, maybe its assisting others, maybe it's a meeting with someone or maybe it's just giving you a much needed chance to write. But whatever it is, I know in my heart you are meant to do it".
"I will do everything I can here, I will walk my own path and I will miss you, but its an adventure you need to take and I am so delighted to be able to closely (from afar) share it with you".

We both took a deep breath, smiled deeply, shrugged and awakened knowing that side by side together or across the world, we are in this together and it's going to be a new adventure no matter what.

An update for 2014

New Babies being created (at least in silicone)

Much has occurred since my last post. Children have grown, new interests have formed, business has grown in slightly different directions. My daughter has begun a new interest in creating reborn dolls, with the eventual hope of a website and sales. My son has cultivated an interest in extreme sports of all manners, becoming a member of a local speed skating team (which often results in reasonable amounts of skin being left on the ground rather than on his body).
However, the passion for travel in all forms, adventures, self awareness, eco choices and the path less traveled still run deep. Thus our journey is shortly about to recommence in a couple of weeks.

Indoor skydiving